A very good friend of mine is not minimalist. She loves stuff, she loves to shop, buy things, be given things and keep things. She like to have lots all the time. In that respect, we are the complete opposite and you know what? that’s okay.
I have many friends like this, who say to me ‘I’m not minimalist and I never want to be’ and that is completely fine. I never set out to force anyone to covert to my way of thinking or my relatively new lifestyle choice. My non-minimalist friends are still happy to talk about it with me, but they just don’t want to be like me but I don’t care at all. To an extent I’m actually very grateful. Some of my friends have taken perfectly good items off my hands that I no longer wanted and they have been very happy to receive these. I personally see that as a win/win scenario and if that’s what makes you happy then so be it.
I asked my friend’s permission to write about a conversation we recently had where she told me how much she loved things. My friend was just so adamant as to how much she loves her stuff. I wouldn’t say she has an obscene amount or is classified as a hoarder of anything like that, she just loves shoes, clothes and makeup a lot. My friend is adamant this makes her happy, she does not waiver on this at all. But this is where we differ. I used to be like that, but following a somewhat emotion shopping spree (yes it was retail therapy) one week I found myself no happier than before I spent my hard earned $1500. This shopping spree was my tipping point, it was the point of no return for me. It was the moment I realised that spending money on stuff wasn’t the answer to making myself feel better.
I sometimes do worry people think I’m trying to force my ideas on them, but I’m not. I buy gifts for my non-minimalist friends. If they want stuff and lots off it, then so be it I’ll buy it. I’m happy to still buy things for other people, if that’s what makes them happy. Things I would never buy for myself, but yet these people are my friends and if that’s what they want then that’s what they will get. I once bought a friend a bag full of knick knacks. I’m talking novelty pens, figurines etc- and she loved them all. But you know what? I still had fun shopping for them because I knew that’s what would make her happy. It’s important to respect other people’s wishes in these sorts of instances.
How do you respond to non-minimalist friends and family?
This is Minimalism 